TTC After Ectopic & Miscarriage

Cynthia Flynn's picture
Experts: 

QUESTION

Dear Midwife,
I had a D&C abortion in my mid-twenties. I'm now 39. I had one ectopic (surgery Jan 2006; ovary is still there), one baby (born Feb 2007), and one miscarriage (stopped growing at 12 weeks; waited for it to pass naturally Feb/Mar 2008; no meds or surgery). I get a period each month so I am assuming I am ovulating each month.

Both the ectopic and the miscarriage were conceived in Decembers. So my husband and I have been a little superstitious about this and thought that perhaps there might be damage to one ovary, so we decided to only try to conceive every other month, skipping Dec, Feb, Apr, Ju, Aug, Oct...the months the one ovary would be releasing an egg the same month we conceived ectopic & miscarriage.

Obviously due to my age we are running out of time a bit. Is this crazy to be skipping every other month?? Each time we conceived we got pregnant on the first try, until last month, Jan 2009, when we started trying for Baby #2.

Thanks so much for any insight you can offer.

ANSWER

I am so sorry for your losses, and congratulations on your successful pregnancy.

You are right, time is not on your side. You probably know that your chances of a successful pregnancy decrease after age 35 and decrease much more after age 40. And I can certainly understand the superstition, at least for December!

Unfortunately, I don't know you and don't know what your priorities are, how willing you are to "take a chance," how important it is to you to have a second child, how well you dealt with previous losses, etc. All of these factors figure in to when you want to try, and there may be even a longer list if you include your husband's opinions. I'd suggest that together, you make that list of considerations, have an honest discussion about everything on the list, and then figure out what you want to do.

--Cynthia, CNM. PhD.