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Uncertain about Becoming a Dad

QUESTION

Dear Doula,
My girlfriend is pregnant. I have tried to talk to her but she does not want to talk about it. She is sad and embarrassed and says she can't take it. I don't know what to do. I mean I don't want to be a dad. Well, I do but not now.

ANSWER

I remember reading somewhere that a child is the greatest gift ever. Even though it may not seem like like that in the early stages, a child will change you in a way that you will never know until you experience it.

I understand becoming a father is difficult but if she is pregnant you already are a father. Fathering is a constant process. As the baby develops you develop. As the baby grows you grow. When the baby comes the emotions, love, fear and joy come. It's up to you to let the process unfold.

-- Kerry, HCHI, CHt

Kerry Tuschhoff

Kerry Tuschhoff, HCHI, CHt is a wife and mother of 6 (2 kids, 2 dogs and 2 rabbits) and has been in the birthing field for 14 years. She taught the Bradley method of natural childbirth from 1989 to 1999, at present teaches Hypnobabies Hypnosis for Childbirth classes, Pregnancy Nutrition and Breastfeeding classes, and gives seminars in her community on natural pregnancy and childbirth options, and is a conference speaker. She has attended over 250 births as a Doula and Hypno-Doula, and feels it is an honor to be asked to share such a wonderfully spiritual experience with her students.

She is also a certified hypnotherapist, trains Hypnobabies Instructors, author of Hypnobabies: Eyes Open Childbirth Hypnosis. and is Operations Director of Hypnobabies Network in Southern California. Kerry feels that the time in our lives when we are the most vulnerable and in need of support is when we are soon going to give our babies life. The support, nurturing and help that doulas can provide is invaluable to a birthing couple as they take that journey. She looks forward to helping you all have the best possible birth experience you can. Please take a moment to visit Kerry's Website.