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Visitation Drop-off Questions

QUESTION

My husband and I have been divorced seven months. I live in New Hampshire and he lives in California; my move was approved by the court. He is coming to spend time with our 8-year-old son this weekend. I arranged pick up and drop off at neutral areas. According to the parenting plan, weekend visitation are to be arrange by mutual agreement. I've received an e-mail from him stating that he will only drop off or pick up at my home.

We had been living with my parents. My son and I moved into a place of our own right before school started. I have given my ex my mailing address, but not my physical address because he has been verbally abusive. I am afraid of him. While I don't mind giving him the address where I am living, I don't want to have to allow him in my home.

I have four questions:
1. Am I obligated to disclose my physical address?
2. Does my ex has the right to come into my house?
3. Can my ex insist that drop off and pick up be at my house?

Can I have someone with me during exchanges?

Thank you for your time and advice.

ANSWER

No, you don’t have to do any of these things, unless a court orders you to.

If visitation is by mutual agreement, you must mutually agree on all parts of it -- including pick up and drop off.

It's fine to have someone with you, but not if it's someone who is going to make the situation worse.

Brette Sember

Brette McWhorter Sember is a retired family attorney and mediator and nationally known expert about divorce and parenting after divorce. She is the author of The Divorce Organizer & Planner, The Complete Divorce Handbook: A Practical Guide, How to Parent with Your Ex: Working Together for Your Child's Best Interest, and No-Fight Divorce: Spend Less Money, Save Time, and Avoid Conflict Using Mediation. Learn more about Brette on her web site.