Wanting to Start a Family Now

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QUESTION

We've been married for three years. Before marriage my husband and I did discuss wanting to have a family someday (at least three kids).

Now each time now that I try to talk about trying it seems that he has an excuse of why "now" isn't a good time. I'm in my thirties and am concerned about running into problems conceiving.

I feel resentful as his reasons are selfish. It would interfere with our travel plans, (those I'd give up easily), wanting to buy a bigger house (we have 3 bedrooms), and now even citing "the economy."

Any advice to help me understand?

Lori

ANSWER

Hi Lori,

It's time to have an open and honest conversation in which you will need to be calm and understanding.

His reasoning is probably hiding his real concerns or fears, most of which can be addressed when you know the real reasons behind his reticence. Watch Being Dad with him as many of his concerns will be addressed by real dads in the film.

If he has buddies with kids have a word with them and see if they will talk to him about it. You need to set goals and expectations for your future and he needs to commit to you when he will be ready for kids.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Sam