Wanting to Start a Family Now

QUESTION

We've been married for three years. Before marriage my husband and I did discuss wanting to have a family someday (at least three kids).

Now each time now that I try to talk about trying it seems that he has an excuse of why "now" isn't a good time. I'm in my thirties and am concerned about running into problems conceiving.

I feel resentful as his reasons are selfish. It would interfere with our travel plans, (those I'd give up easily), wanting to buy a bigger house (we have 3 bedrooms), and now even citing "the economy."

Any advice to help me understand?

Lori

ANSWER

Hi Lori,

It's time to have an open and honest conversation in which you will need to be calm and understanding.

His reasoning is probably hiding his real concerns or fears, most of which can be addressed when you know the real reasons behind his reticence. Watch Being Dad with him as many of his concerns will be addressed by real dads in the film.

If he has buddies with kids have a word with them and see if they will talk to him about it. You need to set goals and expectations for your future and he needs to commit to you when he will be ready for kids.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Sam

Being Dad Team

Troy Jones: Troy's company produced the Being Dad series and he has traveled the globe interviewing hundreds of new dads and experts. As a result we like to think of him as a "well renowned global guru in all things Being Dad;" sounds impressive anyway. Troy has a beautiful daughter Matilda, who appears in the Being Dad series.

Sam Holt: Best known for coming up with a new idea every five minutes it's little wonder that Being Dad was, in fact, his idea. Fortunately, Being Dad was one of Sam's better ideas and with the help of Troy and Tom it has grown way beyond all of their expectations. Sam has a son, Hugo, who is too cute to be his.

Tom Hastwell: Lured out of the corporate world by Sam and Troy, Tom has been bitten by the business bug. Troy and Sam are eagerly awaiting news that Toms wife is pregnant so that they can attach a camera crew to him for nine months and actually put him to work. Tom is currently practicing for kids.