I get so mad at them sometimes, mostly when they fight, that I end up screaming -- no screeching -- at them. I even told them I hate them one time recently. I feel so out of control when I’m like that. I know I scare them.

Day-to-day expectations and responsibilities can create angry emotions in both parents and children. No matter how skilled you are at parenting, no matter how wonderful your children are, you cannot eliminate or avoid the unpleasant situations that occur in all families.

QUESTION

Dear Doula,
I just found out last week that I am pregnant with my second child. Currently my daughter is just 1 month shy of being two years old.

My question is this...during my first pregnancy I became INSANELY jealous of every woman I saw my husband talking to. It didn't matter if we had worked with her for 5+ years, I couldn't help my feeling of rage and jealousy while I was pregnant. I was never that jealous before I was pregnant. After my daughter was born, my feelings subsided, and everything was back to normal again.

If you know someone who is being abused, you can help her by showing you care. Let her speak confidentially about her situation and without judgment. You may be the only person with whom she feels comfortable. Show you care in these ways:

• Listen to her
• Believe her
• Do not minimize her struggle
• Do not judge her
• Do not blame her
• Assure her that she is not responsible for the abuse
• Tell her it's not her fault. You can never make someone else hurt you

Myths and facts about domestic violence

Myth: Domestic violence does not affect many people.

Fact: Nearly one in three adult women experiences at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. (American Psychological Assn., Violence and the Family: Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, 1996)

Myth: Battering is only a momentary loss of temper.

This is a common question with a complicated answer. Some people do make changes in their actions and the beliefs that underlie the violence. Such change takes a long period of time. And some people may not change, even if they attend a batterer intervention program.

All battering is dangerous; one push or shove could result in death. Battering increases in frequency and severity over time. Certain behaviors, actions and words by an abuser, however, indicate particular danger for you.

Men who abuse their partners come from all races, religions, socioeconomic classes, areas of the world, educational levels and occupations.