One of the biggest devastations any mother can experience is when she goes to the doctor fully expecting to hear the sound of her baby's heart beating, and instead, the room echoes only silence. There are no words that can come close to explaining the emptiness.
When a friend miscarries a baby, the friendship often becomes very uncomfortable because everyone is at a loss about what to do or say during the painful adjustment time of coming to terms with the loss. What does help?
Grief is a tricky thing. It can wreak havoc on your emotions, especially in the first year following the death of a child. A parent can think that progress in healing is finally being made, and then something as unexpected triggers feelings of grief as strong as if the loss took place yesterday.
During pregnancy, the amount of estrogen and progesterone in a woman's body skyrockets; then, immediately after the delivery, both hormone levels plummet. It's a change dramatic enough to scramble anyone's brain.
It all started with Emilee getting sick mid September. Long story short, she ended up being hospitalized on September 28th. After all the stress that night, I found I was getting my period. It was kind of the straw that broke the camels back. I just lost it.
It has been a hard day for me. A very emotional day. I got a reminder call yesterday from my OB's office reminding me of my appointment for Wednesday for an ultrasound. To me, this was so insensitive.
Okay, I have a confession to make. Dh and I are not preventing a pregnancy. I know that I ovulated on Sunday 10/27. I will admit that Dh and I did BD (had sex). I know the doctor told us to wait 2 cycles, but it is so hard to think of waiting.
I know I didn't write much last week. We were busy with … well, I don't know what! My Aunt and cousin were down this weekend. My cousin has had a lot of problems this past year. It was good to see him yet I was a little uncomfortable.
Can I go back to bed now? Please? I feel so horrible. I have another head cold. AF started 2 days ago, and I am just so tired. I am not doing so well since AF decided to arrive. It wanted to play tricks on me again.
CD 7 CY 2(since m/c) -- Well, another month started. Dh better be ready for a marathon! I have to keep saying, "this is the month, this is the month." God, I so want it to be this month. I have been doing a bit better emotionally the past few days.