This old-school form of discipline can do more harm than good. The "time-out" technique is not so effective -- and it can even lead to harmful side effects. Put this punishment to rest for good and do these simple steps for a better alternative.
Timeout is just one tool -- and it really isn't a "discipline" tool; it's an effective anger-management tool. Since the purpose of a timeout is to help someone regain control. If you want children to learn that it is their responsibility to control their behavior, use timeouts as cooling off periods which teach children how to achieve this self-control.
Discipline is different from punishment because it teaches children to learn from their mistakes rather than making them suffer for them. The four R's of consequences actually apply to all discipline techniques, not just natural and logical consequences. Whatever discipline technique you choose, make sure it meets the following four criteria...
In all my years of teaching parenting classes, one skill has stood out. I call it "Don't say Don't". Have you ever told your child "Don't go in the street!" and they walk out in the street? or "Don't fall!" and two seconds later they skin their knees? Why is it that children seem to do what we tell them not to do?
Discipline is guidance and teaching a child self-control. If you view children's misbehavior as a mistake in judgment, it may be easier to think of ways to teach a more acceptable alternative. By setting clear limits and disciplining in a positive, loving way.
Children do what works. If your child is whining, he or she is getting a response from you. Oddly enough, children seem to prefer punishment and anger to no response at all. Whining is usually based on the goal of seeking undue attention.
Peace in our community, our nation, and our world also begins with peace in our homes. And as parents, that is also something we can do. "How?" you may be asking. Not surprisingly, I have some suggestions:
Misbehaving children are discouraged children who have mistaken ideas on how to achieve their primary goal -- to belong. Their mistaken ideas lead them to misbehavior. We cannot be effective unless we address the mistaken beliefs rather than just the misbehavior.
Dear Mr. Dad,
My wife and I have a 3-year-old who's quite a handful. The other day in a crowded department store he was running around and my wife got so frustrated that she said, "if you don't come over here right now, we'll leave you right here."
We usually agree on discipline issues but I think it's not a good idea to make threats we don't intend to carry out. But my wife says it's just something to attract his attention. Who's right