connection parenting

The Terrible One's: Tantrums

Laura Markham's picture

QUESTION

Dear Dr. Laura,
My son is 11 months old. When things don't happen the way he wants them to he throws a fit. He will hit you, throw things and flat out scream for hours if you don't do what he wants. It's hard to know what he wants because he can't talk.

I know he can't talk to express. I just want to know what I can do to make things better, and make him happy. Please help me, I don't know what to do.

Concerned Mother

Positive Discipline

Laura Markham's picture

Ultimately, love is the only leverage we have with our children. Even if they worked, fear and "Because I say so!" only last for as long as they can be physically enforced. Every parent knows how fast children grow; fear works for a very short time if it works at all. Love, on the other hand, becomes a more effective motivator over time.